Simple Lost

I have cried rivers deep, 

Oceans wider than the horizon

Due to frustration of the heart.

Frustration from just being, in the same environment as you,

Just taking in oxygen around you is a hard task.
Why are you so cruel? 

You were suppose to love me

Instead I’m a stranger in my house

I am the half that is separated from the whole 

The one who is walked through 

Because it seems like I’m never there. 
We are suppose to be a family

One heart and one mind 

Here I am, on the outside looking in, 

Looking in at the supposed whole.

I’m the fragment that doesn’t fit in.
I feel sorry for you 

Sorry for the fact that you can have so much hate for me 

That you’d continue without me

so cold to not answer the door
Just a message for you dear sibling as of this moment 

You are all dead to me. 

Keep your selfish behavior among you all.

Three less of the eight eases my pain.
J.A.

I 💝 My Pubic

It has be noted that there is some sort of censorship surrounding ones’private parts’.  No longer is it that the correct terminology used to describe ones ‘parts’ instead as is being noted there is a ‘hush hush’ mentalitity. 

I was drawn to this realization through studying about gender and having to do gender spotting in a college course at my current institution. ‘Society’ has somewhat created a wool coating over our eyes therefore unless the thought is brought to our attention there is a blind eye turnt to such matters.. 

Snickers sound in every little corner of a class room or stern looks given to those who dared to say VAGINA or PENIS out loud. Why is it considered so much of a dirty word? I thought that that’s what they were called so why the censorship? 

It is ridiculous how we allow some imaginary etiquette to define and put a hush over parts that are supposedly too vulgar to say out loud. 

I DO NOT wish to be apart of such crowd. Instead I will boldly walk around screaming on the top of my lungs “LOVE YOUR PENIS, LOVE YOUR VAGINA!!!” Because I don’t see the need to hide.  

 

 We will drink to that. 

Until next time lovelies. 

 

Stereotyping

I am tired of feeling like I do not belong

Being shamed, thrown in the wind,

Wondering aimlessly looking for a place to nest.

How much longer can I stand being ridiculed?

No matter how many times I change my hair,

Change my style, change my accent 

I cannot fit in.

What is left for me to do? 

Each experiment I try in order to fit in 

I never seem together it.

Is something wrong with me?

I think there is something wrong with me as opposed to something wrong with the people around me.

I seem to be the odd one out.

Well I am taking a stand 

I am tired of being them and hiding in a skin I do not belong.

Though it is hard, I am taking a stance just this once to be me. 

Policing

So a couple years ago an individual got in an altercation with the police. The day before she got the news that someone close to her was being beaten by a school mate because the mate thought that she was being rude to her. Now given that she does not have th right under no circumstances to make it her duty to discipline the child she was very boostful about hat she did. 

After hearing what took place the sister ( my friend) took it upon herself to confront the individual who attacked her sibling. On her way to the school that both students attended she ran into the girl who is accused of battering her sibling. The confrontation began very smoothly, questions were asked about the event and then the situation took a turn for the worst. The accused was raising her voice and behaving rather boisterous. My friend found this really offensive and then a fist fight ensued. They tumbled, scratched and pulled each other’s hair. Then the accused head was being stucked between the railings of the bus terminal bench. The police then arrived to stop the fight (during the fight the bystanders did nothing to stop the children). The policemen disciplined the children about fighting in their uniforms and gave them a stern warning. 

In instances policing was shown in a positive light because the police involved in this incident could have dealth with the situation in a completely different way. However, when cases such as Treyvon Martin etc are highlighted as negative policing and as such creates animosity between citizens and the police. 

When I hear the word Rape what comes to mind….

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The word rape whether brought up in a casual conversation or just thought of leaves a disgusting taste in my mouth. Rape is defined as the penetration of an individual without another’s consent (my break down of the meaning). 

Identifying that it is without consent raises a red flag. Why would anyone force him or herself on another without his or her consent? ( keeping in mind that I believe that both sex can experience rape). It also raises the questions such as what is consent? When is it that No means No! And the frequent one, No meaning Yes ( which does not make any sense at all to me) . Although you have those who tend to think that when a party says no and the behavior does not match the answer it automatically means yes (ludicrous yet it happens). 

It goes as far as to the point where penetration although important does not have the same weight as that of consent because the questions are so often asked, “What were you wearing?” “Where you drinking?” And “WhT did you do to make him attack you?” Why is is that those are the most frequent asked? Leaving the victim vulnerable and so open like a fresh cut. No one really caring about the victim, how he/she feels and how scared they are. 

So instead of reporting most rapes they resort to a shell because they are scared, fearing that they will not be believed because they will be chastised as opposed to receive some sort of compassion and/or sensitivity. 

I never seem to understand why exactly is it that most rape cases the perpetrators are not arrested and the victim being unreliable. In addition to that, majority of the perpetrators are those who are close to the victim as opposed to a practical stranger, strange concept as to how they deal with such procedures.but I would like a logical explanation. The duty is left in our hand to ensure that we are not being assaulted whether mentally or physically ‘scoff’. 

Why is it that one is forced to focus on what they wear, and say even inthe privacy of their home because they are afraid to show their sexuality, apparently it is too much for the wider supposedly sane society to handle?

I am a bit too fired up to continue. Until next time, thanks for reading. 

Loosing One’s Self

I loved you so much that I didn’t see that it was just too much. I was blinded by the curtain of lust.
I let myself believe that you were my all so I did all I could to please you, allowed you to use ten dollar shoes to kick and walk all over me.
How did I let myself become so dependent on a man that I have reached the point of not being able to differentiate between right and wrong? 
I allowed you to walk away with my stuff.
Didn’t value my self enough because i thought no one else will never see me as you did.
I have had enough of this, 
I’ve seen too much gloomy skies and bad weather with you by my side. 
You had all of me without even knowing I just gave it to you willingly.
I have learnt my lesson cause this have happened so often and was once overlooked. I’m tired of taking your sorries. 
I’ve taken so much that it’s so hard for them to hold in my closet and my front door is overcrowded. 
I’m no longer open for excuses and this ends right here. 
I only have this to say, I’m sorry that I no longer believe your I’m sorries. I don’t regret that I’m not sorry that you are sorry. 
My love is too precious, magical to have it thrown back in my face. It will no longer be viewed as a late night snack, I’m moving on. 
I’m gonna be better for me and allow myself to be loved by someone who deserves to be loved hard.
I’m not sorry that you are not the one I’ll choose this time. 

The thoughts after seeing and experiencing crap

Who Gets To Be Emotional?

Hello,

Scanning through a friends post and upon reading an article I found interesting which was related to boys being forced to “Act like a man.” I agree with the stance than boys a a tender age are bing forced to “man up.” 
What exactly does it mean for one to “man up?” According to societal claim it is not expected for the male specie to be emotional as it is deemed as being weak. Is this the same logic that also used to classify women as being weak because they cry? I am yet to find a logical explanation. According to my understanding both males and females are human beings and are capable of feeling emotional. So then why is it that one is allowed to cry and the other move on without lamenting and grieving over issues that hurt? 
Humans are often compared to animals especially chimpanzees because they are the closest animals next to humans. Based on observation, they mourn when they are hurt both male and female so now I would love to hear an explanation convincing me as to why men aren’t allowed to cry. 
This has been an issue which has affected the male species negatively. These boys grow up with the constant reminder that they should never be weak, to be strong because to do otherwise is to be a “sissy.” It also affects the way they treat females, sometimes approaching with a very hardcore vibe, insensitive to feelings which are factors which contributes to relationship struggles. 

Well until next time. Looking forward to your thoughts.

Gender Identity

Hello Lovlies, 

Hope you guys enjoy what I have to say. Ian a bit shy where posting all is concerned not sure about the feedback I will be receiving. I will just take a leap of Faith. Lol

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I am inspired by the various things that happen around me and you would be surprised at the little things that we take for granted are really a big deal. A group of students were asked the question “When did you first identify yourself with a particular cis gender?” I was a bit stunned by this question because I did not pay such keen attentions to such things in my life. I the. Start to think long and hard because that question just blew my mind and I have to really think about it. It should have been a very easy question to answer but thinking about it, it does not seem so much simple now, does it? 

Anyway in my attempt to answer this ‘simple’ question I started to rely on my child hood memories. Then it came to me. I started identifying myself as being a female because it has been the way I was socialized by my parents. 

Parents are the foundation of shaping our thoughts based on what they have already associated themselves with in society. It starts from in the womb when tent are told what your features are followed by the colors you are assigned, then when you are delivered, before anything else, the big commotion is presented “it’s a boy!” Or “its a girl” is repeated by the doctor. At this point your parents and family members may have decided for you your faith already, to whom you will be married and your future profession. 

Wow that was a lot to take in. However, it does not stop there. There is the gender binary presented by society in the classrooms and daily environment. Men are expected to wear blue, be tough and somewhat insensitive while females are assigned to be more domestic and weak. O so streo typical. We now have so,e sort of independence where are are fighting ( from a female standpoint), for freedom by challenging and pushing the boundaries of identification regards to gender. 

That will be it for now. 

Looking forward to comments. 

Until next time. Love Always, 

Jay. 

Beauty!?

What Constitutes As Being Beautiful?

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Hi, This being my first post I am not sure how to approach those who will be reading this post. However, i hope to reach many people and hear what they Have to say about my assumptions.

After that short introduction why not just get into a discussion?

I think that we all have an opinion about what is means to be beautiful because we have this preconceived idea of what beauty is based on the social construction. I think society shapes most if not all of thoughts in every area of our lives. It begins with our gender identity, or relation to a cis gender and the colors that we wear, the list goes on and on. 

Now the big question is what is beauty? Who defines beauty? Where did the whole idea of what beauty is came from? I as I had previously stated I firmly believe that our ideas of what beauty is is shaped based on how we were socially constructed. I believe that colonization and culture place an important role in defining beauty. 

On the point of colonization. Due to the fact that most countries were colonized by the whites, it is said that being light skinned or next to being white therefore means that one is beautiful. Such thoughts were instilled and as such individuals started refusing the naps, curls, kinks and level of melanin in their skin in an effort to convert. It has also spread like wild fire in how individuals are hired for particular jobs and also the males perspective of who is “eye candy.” 

In doing so erasing their roots, erasing their identity and almost refusing to identify with whom they really are. It has created the bleaching phenomenon, and the expensive habit of plastic surgery, human hair etc. 

This is not to say that there are not individuals who embrace the way that they were born whether it be light skinned or dark skin (phrases I personally do not like yo associate myself with). 

I believe that there are beautiful black women who embrace who they are, not enhancing body parts but just merely accepting who they are eg. India Arie. There are songs that promote black beauty again I will allude to India Arie and her song “Video” and “Brown Skin.”

I hope that individuals will embrace who they are and just love themselves instead of trying their hardest to change who they are. If you don’t love yourself then it will be difficult for you to love another person. Not that you are being selfish but enabling yourself to appreciate other people. 

These are strictly my views and I hope I have not offended anyone.

 Hoping to hear what you have to say because I am open to everyone’s opinions and suggestions. Until next time. Keep being lovely.